


A moment sems to last so long

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-29
Updated: 2013-06-29
Packaged: 2017-12-16 12:27:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/862031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They owed their lives to a boy with a soft smile and eyes too blue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A moment sems to last so long

The sound of traffic echoed through the tiny bedroom window as he stirred awake. There's a familiar weight pressed against his chest, cool breath tickeling the skin of his neck. Harry spared a glance at the alarm clock that resided on the bed side table, the red numbers glaring 6.40 am at him. 'Ten more minutes' he thinks to himself as he lower his gaze to the boy sleeping soundly on his chest. 

Diry blonde hair covered the other boy's face but Harry could still view the curve of his jaw and the way his eyelashes shadowed his cheeks. Below those eyelids he knew were deep pools of blue, he'd spent years staring in to them and months previous writing poems about them. Just one look from those blue spheres and Harry knew he was goner. It was like one look from Louis, had set his life alight. 

"It's rude to stare." Louis mumbles. 

Harry chuckles lightly, reaching his fingers up to move some hair from the other boys face. "Sorry." 

"S'okay." Louis replied, voice hoarse with sleep. "Know I'm to pretty to resist." 

The finger Harry has tracing Louis' face moves down across the other boys lips as a smile crosses his own. They stay silent for a moment, the sound of new york the only thing echoing the room, as the two boys pulls themselves to full consciousness. 

"What time is it?" Louis questions without opening his eyes. 

Harry presses a kiss to the other boys temple. "About five before the alarm." 

Louis groans in annoyance and attempts to bury himself in the younger boys bare chest. Harry holds him close for just a few more minutes and then runs his hand gently down the older boys back, announcing that they should get up. It takes the alarm going off to get Louis to finally move, reaching behind him to slam his hand down on the button, halting the horrid noise. 

"Morning." Harry says as Louis' eyes blink open. 

"Morning, Harold." Louis replies, climbing out of the bed and retrieving his boxers from the floor. 

Harry reclines in the bed as he watches his lover pad his away cross the bedroom towards the bathroom. A slight cluster of goosebumps covering his bare skin, as the cold New York air blows in through the window. 

"Bastard." Louis curses, catching his hip on the corner of the cabinet. 

Every morning the same thing happens and every morning Harry tells Louis they should move the cabinet, so it doesn't cover a small portion of their bathroom door. Every morning the older lad just rolls his eyes and asks if he's going to drop ridiculous hints to get Harry to shower with him, or if Harry has become clever enough to come on his own. Every morning Harry gets tangled in the sheets as he tries to chase his half naked boyfriend in to the bathroom. 

They shower under barley warm water, with careful kisses and wandering hands. Harry gets out first, leaving Louis to put ridiculous amount products in his hair. The younger boy wraps a towel around his waist and turns his ipod on as he fills the sink with water, the sound of frank ocean's voice filling the room. 

Louis sings along, barley heard under the power of the water (the way he likes it;to be heard but not heard). Harry strains his ears to listen as he rubs shaving foam on his face, followed by a sharp blade. 

Just as the younger boy finishes, scraping the shaver along the thin hair on his jawline, small hands wrap around his bare waist. 

"Do you not think so far ahead." Louis sings softly against his ear. "'Cause i've been thinkin' 'bout forever." 

Harry leans in to the touch, rubbing his hand against Louis' resting on his lower stomach. The older boy presses his lips between the crease of his shoulderblade. They stay that way until the song ends and they finally depart. Harry places a kiss to the mess that is Louis wet hair and departs back in to the bedroom. 

The bottom to the draw holds his scrubs and mixture of their winter wear because 'there's not enough room in this tiny shithole for you to have an entire draw for you work clothes, Harold'. After removing the towel from his waist to dry himself, he changes in to the red scrubs and runs a brush through his hair. 

Louis' still in the bathroom when he leaves the bedroom to make a start on their breakfast. The first thing he does as he enters the kitchen is flick the kettle down because there's no way Louis can start his day without caffeine. 

Something soft brushes against his leg as he slips some bread in to the toaster, he looks down to find 'marvel' blinking up at him with wide innocent brown eyes. 

"You hungry, sweetheart?" Harry asks, abandoning the toast to get the cat food. 

The sound of Louis' oxfoards clipping the wooden floor can be heard as he enters the kitchen. "Are you feeding that before me, again?" 

"Jealousy isn't a good look on you, babe." Harry teased, petting Marvel as the cat began to dig in to his food. 

"I'm not jealous of that thing." Louis huffed. "I'm annoyed It get's to live in my house and pee in my shoes." 

"Maybe he wouldn't pee in your shoes if you were a little nicer to him, Lou." Harry considers, moving away from the cat to work on making Louis and himself something for breakfast. 

Louis worked around him, grabbing two cups from the cupboard and filling one with coffee, the other with a tea bag. By the time Harry had made them both some jam on toast, there's a cup of piping hot tea waiting for him on the counter. 

They eat in a comfortable silence, it still to early to make actual conversation. Louis clambers from his stool once his toast is cleared from the plate and coffee settled with it in his stomach. 

"I'll be home late tonight." Louis says, pressing in to the younger boy's side as he finishes his toast. 

Harry rubs his free hand up and down the back of Louis' work shirt. "Do you want me to leave you something for dinner?" 

"No." Louis presses his lips to Harry's temple. "I'll pick up something on the way home." 

"Okay." Harry says, holding on for just a few more minutes. 

Louis runs his fingers through Harry's now dried curls. "I've got to go, love." 

The grip around the older boys waist loosens until Harry's hand comes back to pick up his tea.

"I love you." Louis tells him, tilting Harry's face to press a kiss to his lips. 

"Love you." The younger boy replies. "Always and forever." 

Another kiss and Louis' collect his keys and back pack off the counter. "Always and forever, baby." 

Harry watches, half a pieces of toast in his mouth as Louis makes his way out of the apartment. It's not until Marvel starts making whining noises from the living room that he actually moves from his place at the counter. Harry places the breakfast dishes in the sink and makes his way in to the living room. To find his cat sat by the the apartment door, pawing at it. It's the way his best friend Niall always says he finds the cat when Harry and Louis go on trips away. Harry's never seen him do it before because the cat normally does it because he's not there, not because of Louis. 

"He'll be back later, Marvs." Harry coes the cat, bending down to pet it. 

Marvel cries and looks up at him with sad eyes. Harry laughs quietly, assuming the cat had grown an attachment to Louis even through all the hatred. 

"I know." Harry scracthes behind the cat's ears. "I miss him too when he's at work. But he'll be back, promise." 

Leaving the sad cat by the door, he heads back in to the bedroom to collect his phone and other things for work. Then he slips on his black nike's and says one goodbye to Marvel, then leaves the apartment. 

\--

Harry's a trained nurse, the pay isn't great but the hospital is a few blocks from building where Louis works. Which meant when Louis wasn't working through lunch, they could eat somewhere together. The hospital is large but the staff is like one big family. Every morning when Harry arrives, he's greeted with friendly smiles. 

It's hard to be happy all the time, especially when death can surround you. The first time one of Harry's pastients passed, he thought about giving up. Went home to his and Louis' apartment, hid under the covers until Louis came home to soothe him through it. 

Now he just takes it as part of the job, tries to do his best to learn as much as he can, to be able to do everything in his power to help. 

Liam's on reception when he arrives, he's goes to the same university as Harry and is training to be a physiotherapist. Sometimes he volunteers at the hospital to help his mum out, either when he's bored or if their overrun with patients. Harry thinks he's a good person for the job, always there with a friendly smile and the patience to deal with panicked people. 

They'd become mates over the past year or so. Both having the fact they're English in common, even if there's not much else. Harry had bumped in to Liam while out with Louis a few times. After the bumping in to each other stopped becoming a coincidence, they started just hanging out. Now they're like a little group of friends, the three of them and Liam's flat mate Zayn. Along with Niall who Harry had roomed with the first year at uni and never really been able to get rid of since. 

"Morning." Harry greets as he signs himself in. 

Liam looks up from the magazine he has hidden under the desk, to smile. "Goodmorning yourself, young Harold." 

"Someone's in a good mood." Harry laughs. 

"I can't be in a good mood?" 

"You got laid last night, didn't you?" Harry questions, judging Liam's expressions. 

A blush crawls on to the older boy's cheeks, causing another chuckle to escape Harry's mouth. Handing back the sign in sheet, he gives a small fist pump and winks at Liam. 

"I want juicy details later." Harry cheers, heading down the corridor to start his shift. 

The first order of duty, as it is every day, is to visit Mr Graham in room three fourteen on floor five. Mr Graham was brought in a month ago after he suffered a major heart attack. Over three weeks ago he had bypass surgery (which came with many complications) and he has at least a few more days until he can leave (as long as nothing else goes wrong).

"Good morning, Mr Graham." Harry says brightly as he enters the room. 

Mr Gramham smiles over his paper. "Goodmorning, son." 

"How are you this fine September morning?" Harry asks, as he does his daily checks. (tubes still placed correctly, blood pressure not to high blah blah blah). 

"Could use a cigarette." Mr Graham replies. "Or a nice T-bone steak." 

"How about an E-cigarette and i'll sneak you some extra sausage for lunch." 

Mr Graham grunts and returns his eyes to his paper, letting Harry finish his check undisturbed. Harry makes a note of the extra sausage in the back of his mind. Then fishes out the E-cigarette from where it's tucked in the draw beside the bed and places in next to the elder man's water jug. 

"See you at lunch, Mr Graham." 

Mr Graham chuckles at Harry's bright attitude. "See you then, Harry." 

Harry continues the rest of his morning, with the usual patients and some new comers. It's not until he makes his way back down to the reception, to collect a patients file, that he notices there's something strange in the air. When he see's Liam's face behind the reception desk, the feeling in his gut is confirmed. 

"What's going on?" 

Liam doesn't answer but Harry follows the older boys gaze to the tv in the corner of the waiting room. There's a burning building on the screen, one that twins with the building Louis works at. 

Harry's whole body jolts as he watches havoc unfold in front of him. Then the fear consumes him, as a women beside lets out a piercing scream followed by the words 'my baby'. Another plane comes in to view and disappears in to a mess of smoke and fire. This time it's the building that Louis works at and Harry's heart falls to the bottom of his chest. 

The breath catches in his throat as his eyes stay glued to the screen, he can't move. There are people screaming around him, women crying, others trying to contact people they love. 

"Harry." Liam calls from behind him. "Mate, call Louis." 

Harry's to struck with fear to reach in his own pocket for his phone, he doesn't come back to himself until Liam's reaching in to scrubs trying to find his phone for him. 

"Call Louis." Liam demands. 

Harry takes the phone with shaky fingers, there's a voice-mail blinking at him when he unlocks it but he ignores it. It's hard to bring up Louis' name with his hands shaking so badly, especially when Louis' pulling a stupid face comes up as the contact picture. Liam's hand is holding his free one tight enough to cause bruising. Somehow the feeling brings Harry enough comfort for his hand to stop shaking enough, to dial Louis' number.  
The phone rings and rings, then rings some more. Until _'This is Louis Tomlinson and i'm to busy to take your call right now but if you'd like to leave a message--'._ Harry cuts the message off before it ends and presses the green button again. It rings and rings, the tone making the pain in his chest tighten even further. _'This is Louis Tomlinson-'._ Harry lets out an inhuman noise and presses the number again. This time when it rings, the noise physically pains him to hear.

"They might be evacuating them." Liam considers. "He'll call you when he's out I'm sure." 

Harry tries to take in the words but all he can see is the building his boyfriend went to work in this morning, on fire. People are moving around them and eventually Liam gets dragged off by his mum, to help with panicked people who are flooding in to the hospital. 'This is what you're trained to do' he tells himself 'Louis will call you when he's out of the building and safe'.  
Though he doesn't believe the words, they're what get his feet moving across the hospital to help Liam with the incoming flow of people. Harry tries best to be soothing, to the women crying and asking if their babies are okay. All he can offer is empty promises and guide them to the waiting room, what he assumes will become the place where people will wait to see if their loved ones have survived or not. Harry thinks he could be in there, could be one of the many worried people. Instead he focuses his mind, keep himself busy with the now shocked people who'd ran at least three blocks to get here.  
It takes over forty minutes for the first building collapse. A weird sense of calm seems to overcome the hospital as everyone stills to watch the metal frame give way. It's so close, he can hear it, he can feel the pain as entire countries heart breaks. A loud sob from an elderly woman covered in smoke is what sets the chaos off again. The world begins to move around him once more, like the scene in front of each and every person in that room had already become a historical moment. One people would talk about for years to come but no one could feel, not like they could, it's different when you're there, it's different when it's real. 

Harry's phone is heavy in his pocket, it's still, it's silent. All he wants to do is pull it out and dial Louis' number just to hear his voice. Just for some hope that if Harry hears his voice, then he has to be okay, he has to be alive. 

More people file in to the hospital, more covered with smoke, more seriously injured. It's starts to get overcrowded and the hospital has to move already situated patients to an awaiting sister hospital. 

Mr Graham passes Harry in a wheelchair at one point, he grabs on to Harry's hand and gives it a hard squeeze. Harry looks away from the women who's cut arm he's attending, to the old man. 

"Don't forget my sausages." 

Harry chocks back a sob and squeezes the man's hand in return, then lets go to go back to attending to the young woman. Mr Graham's banter from this morning, fading in the distance. 

More people, more injuries. It begins to look like an actual war zone and that's just the waiting room of the hospital. Harry doesn't want to go outside, he doesn't want to see the chaos of the calm street he walked down this morning. 

The second building collapses as Harry's attending to a man with serious leg wound. This time it isn't calm, this time the world does't stop. When the building goes down, it's loud and it's scary. The screams that come from inside and outside the hospital sound inhuman, the cries sound so painful he knows he's going to hear them in his sleep. The longer the phone stays silent in his pocket, the harder it gets for Harry to breath. 

"Help me get this guy up to ER?" Liam asks, grabbing Harry's shoulder and giving it a painful squeeze. 

The pain makes things easier, helps him think straight. The guy Liam's referring to has burns covering the entire left side of his face and leg is bent in a way that Harry's only seen in his medical books. They half walk half carry the guy from the ground floor to ER on the third floor. The victims from the first building are finally getting here, he thinks. It's taken them at least half an hour to reach the hospital, then Louis still had a chance, he could still be making his way here.  
Harry continues to help, moving the victims that in the most need of medical attention up to the ER. Liam's there sometimes, helping him move patients who can't walk unattended. Though he disappears straight after, leaving only the bruise of his fingertips on the younger boy's bicep. 

The more people that come in, the more occupied he is. Each time he has to make his way back down to the entrance, alone, there's an ache in his chest. The burning need to know, just to know where Louis is, if he's alive or not. 

As victims from the second tower begin to arrive, the injuries are catastrophic. There are people with missing limbs, from where flying debris of the collapsing building had caught them as they tried to escape. Other with burns so severe Harry wonders if they'll even see the next sunrise. Then there's the unharmed people, covered in smoke, to in shock to barley stutter out their names to nurses waiting to take it. 

After over an hour of moving people from one place to the next and attending to minor injuries to those who stood and waited. One of the doctors informs Harry he would be better use in the ER room, where there weren't enough hands to take care of the onslaught of patients. The entrance to the hospital is still crowded with people but one of the nurses with a clipboard taking names, manages to catch Harry's eye. 

"Carol." He calls to the other nurse. "Carol! Carol!!" 

The older woman looks up from the man she is talking to and casts her eyes over to Harry. "Sweetheart, we need you in the ER." 

"I'm going." Harry tells her, trying to pass through the people that separate them. "I just need to know if he's come in yet, if he's come looking for me." 

"I can't--" She says, getting blocked by the crowd of people trying to ask her for names. 

"Carol." Harry calls, banging in to crying woman and a child. He apologises, gently moves them out of the way and forcefully pushes himself through the crowd to get to her. 

The older woman sighs when he's finally standing in front of her. "Name! What's his full name?" 

"Louis William Tomlinson." Harry informs her, bouncing nervously on his feet. 

Carol checks the names on the first page, then the second and every page after that. When she looks up at Harry there's a look of sorrow in her eyes and his body reacts before his brain does. 

"I'm sorry." Carol whispers as Harry falls to a crouching position, his head buried in his hands. 

The sobs leave his chest before his mind actually has chance to process what's happened. Louis, his fit and healthy Louis. Who he'd kissed goodbye only hours ago. Was gone. 

There's a hand on his shoulder, the tightness of the grip letting him know exactly who it is. "Mate, you need to keep moving. Just keep your mind occupied. Just while they need your help, just until you can go home. Don't break down now, not now. Not yet."  
The words are said softly, as if talking to wild animal about to break out of it's cage. 

"I'll look out for him, I promise." Liam says as he lifts Harry up. "People need you." 

Another sob echoes Harry's chest at the words, they're so small, so simple. People needed him but the one person he's ever needed isn't here. The one person who can make this all okay, isn't here. How is he suppose to help others, when the one person he truly loves has been taken away from him. 

Liam wipes his eyes and presses their foreheads together. "We're not going to break, repeat." 

"Not going to break." Harry mumbles. 

"Go up to the ER and do your thing." Liam says. "When you're done come and find me, you're not going home alone." 

Alone to an empty apartment, with nothing but his cat. Because his boyfriends dead. His boyfriends dead. Dead. Harry can't escape his thoughts, can't push them aside this time. 

"Go." Liam whispers, turning him around and pushing him in to the mass of people. 

Harry's on auto-pilot then. As he walks to the ER and begins to help the doctors treat people, attending to minor wounds on his own. Something he would have never been allowed to do in any other situation. 

It's hours later, when the sun is getting taken over by the moon that it finally settles down. There are still masses of people in the hospital, victims and family members looking for loved ones. Harry helps the other nurses, reading off names loud and clear. Ticking off names when people claim they are related to/friends of said person. Then repeating the list until there's only sobbing people left in the waiting room.  
Louis' name isn't on the list. Louis isn't there. Louis isn't one of them. Louis' dead. 

The sun is beginning to rise in the sky again when Harry leaves the hospital without telling anyone. There's no thought process in his mind that thinks he should inform Liam that he's going home. He just goes, walks the empty streets to the sub station and ignores the creepy calmness that hangs over the busy city as he catches the train home. 

\--

Marvel is at the door as he walks in the apartment, the cat brushes up against his legs and let's out small cries. Harry keeps walking until his tired body collapses on the couch. Then he cries, he cries until he can't breath, until there's not air left in his lungs. Then when there are no tears left, he punches things and throws things. Then when there's nothing left but pain, he drags his aching body in to the bedroom and strips himself bare. Climbs under the bed sheets and buries himself in Louis' pillow, closing his eyes but insomnia consumes him. 

\--

Harry doesn't know how long he lays there, the sun seems to come and go but he can't bring himself to care. Liam appears after a few hours, makes him drink some water, eat some food, brushes Harry's curls of his face and hushes him when he cries. When he leaves the hole seems to re-open. The sound of the Louis-empty apartment making Harry's pain more excruciating than it had been before. 

It goes like that for days, as the world turns the september 11th in to another one for the history books and continues on. Harry's life seems to just stop. The hospital calls, tells Liam that Harry can take as long as he needs to come back to work. 

Louis' mum calls about a week after the attack, tries to talk to Harry through her sobs. It takes her beginning to talk about funeral plans for him to hang up. Later that evening he hears Liam apologising to her over the phone, telling her that Harry just isn't handling it all that well. 

Harry spends his days and nights curled up in unwashed sheets. Liam sleeps on the couch, cooks dinner and forces Harry to shower. He's like a rock, doesn't crack or break even when Harry screams at him. The other boy is patient, careful, everything Harry had admired before but only envies now. 

Niall visits, curls up around Harry's deteriorating body and repeats how much he loves him. Harry doesn't talk anymore but he cuddles in to his best friends warmth, in hopes it conveys something. 

\---

It's almost a month after the attack that the funeral is organised. Louis' body was never found. They'd said that some of the bodies had been so damaged from the collapse, they were barley able to make out who was who. Harry refused to listen, didn't understand when his boyfriend stopped being a person and just become a body in a mass of people. 

The funeral is held back in Doncaster and it's one thing that finally makes Harry happy. Louis would have liked that, to be with where the people he loved always are. To be where he was happy. To be where he and Harry began.  
Liam packs a case, gets Harry on a plane with the help of Niall and Zayn. Harry's exhausted body gives up on him half way in to the flight and he falls asleep with his body curled in to Liam. 

"It's like we've lost both of them." 

Niall's whispers echo against his ear and Harry tries to block it out by pushing his head further in to Liam's sleeping chest. 

"They never really were two people." Zayn replies. "Not since I've know them anyway." 

Liam groans this time as Harry's head digs in to his chest. A large hand comes down over Harry's shoulder, rubbing at it almost mechanically. The only thing Harry can think is, they're to big, they're not _his_ hands. 

Louis' sister latch on to Harry as he enters the house and it's nice, to be surrounded by the people that knew Louis just as well as he did. Not the boys didn't love Louis. It's just he was a family guy, his sisters meant everything to him. 

They end up in the room, the four girls and him. Liam and the boys downstairs with Jay, trading stories like there's no tomorrow. There's a twin curled up at each of his sides, with Lottie resting her head on his thigh and Fizzy draped across his ankles. One of the twins demand Harry tell the story of how he and Louis met. It takes him a while but he manages to get through the entire story without breaking down.  
\--- The funeral is full of people, for the first time in weeks, he feels himself smile. This was Louis, this was what Louis loved. Family, friends, all together to celebrate his life. The boys huddle around him at the graveside as he lays some flowers, each gripping on to him tightly, that little bit of weight holding him to earth. They go back to the Tomlinson house and toast to Louis' life, everyone exchanging stories and Harry actually feels able to share a few of his own.  
It's goodbye, he thinks. This is the goodbye Louis deserves and it hurts, it feels like it's never going to stop hurting. But he's reminds of the other people that love him, with them around, It's a little easier to breath. 

\---

Harry doesn't go to the big memorial a year later, instead he gets drunk in his new apartment (he couldn't handle living in the one Louis once occupied without him there). Liam comes over after his shift at the new practice he was working for, armed with dvds and pizza. Niall joins a little later, armed with more beer than anyone's belly could handle. Zayn joins them early hours of the morning, after his shift at the bar, cuddles in to Harry on the couch and whispers soft things until he feels the younger boy smile. 

\---

The second memorial he does go too, holding on to Liam's hand so tight he's sure to stop the blood flow. There's lots of people, all crying or at least red faced. They stay long enough to the two minute silence but Harry pleads to go home as soon as it ends. The boys don't leave his apartment even though he begs them to. They just curl up on the couch with him in the middle, listening to him cry and letting out a few tears themselves. 

\--

Harry refuses to go the next year but Liam informs him that the new memorial building will be opened that day. That he himself would like to go and see Louis' name on the wall, that he was going if Harry came or not. Harry debates arguing him on it, only the alternative is staying in his apartment alone. Which he doesn't ever want to do, especially not today of all days.  
The four of them go, just as they did the year before. They hold on to each other during the minute silence, with Harry in the middle, always in the middle. Harry's grip is a like a vice on Liam's hand and Zayn's waist as they begin to call out names. As the guy says loud and clear 'Louis William Tomlinson, age 21' everything around Harry seems to go in to a blur.  
Liam drops his hand, wraps his arms around Harry waist and the other boys weight falls back in to the touch.  
"We're gonna go find his name now, Haz." Liam whispers softly. "We're going to give him a kiss and let him know how much we miss him, then we're going to go home." 

Harry's nod is mechanical, he moves in order with Liam's footsteps as the older boy leads them away from the crowd and towards the place where the names are held. Niall walks ahead, reading out letters of the alphabet as they pass. Zayn behind him, sad eyes washing over each and every name. 

Niall stops when he reaches the L's and Harry's breath catches. Liam's fingers dig in to his side, hard enough to hurt and pushes him to keep on walking. 

It's Zayn who reads out the name, his hand slipped around Nialls waist. "Louis William Tomlinson, they gave him a nice spot too." 

Harry pushes himself back in to Liam as they reach Niall and Zayn. At first he doesn't want to see them name written down, it feeling to real, even after two years. Instead he looks around, there's a view of the fountain that the names surround, then behind where there stood is a great open view of the city. People are walking past, driving past, living their lives. For a moment he envies them. Then he agrees with Zayn, this is great, this is Louis. To be able to people watch and it's almost centred, as if he was head of all the names, there to take care of all those stolen souls. 

"Perfect." He whispers. 

Liam presses a gentle kiss to the top of his ear, barley there. Then loosens his grip, enough to let Harry step away but still in reach in case the other boy needed him. 

Harry steps forward slowly, his eyes finally coming down to the names. There it is, just like ever other name written. The name he thought he'd see on his wedding certificate, the name he thought he'd give his first born son, the name that didn't belong. Harry drops to his knees, his body deciding before his mind has to chance to catch up. Liam steps forward as if to reach for him but Zayn puts a hand on his chest to hold him back.  
Long fingers trace over three separate words. The tears roll down his cheeks as he leans forward to press his lips on each of part of the name separately. The breath catches in his chest as he rests his face against the cold metal, closing his eyes.  
For moment there's a flash of pools of blue, there a smiling face and crinkles by eyes. There's his Louis cooking breakfast, in the shower, in bed, on the couch. There's a boy who's life was taken to soon, there's a boy who's love was beyond his power. There's his Louis and nothing else.  
Harry doesn't know how long he kneels there, the three boys stay in silent and wait. They let him have his moment, don't leave his side, like they're just in reach in case he needs them. They're there for him, like they always have been. 

When Harry does finally stand it's with a whispered 'I love you' and he steps back so is back is flushed to Liam's. The older boys hand come down around him as if on instinct, like he's the only anchor holding Harry to earth. 

Niall kisses his fingers and presses them over the name, whispering his own words of love and memory. Zayn takes a little longer, brushing his fingers across the name like he wants to engrave it to memory. Harry lets of go Liam, moving to step in to Niall's side so the older boy can have his own moment. 

Liam kneels as Harry did, puts one hand along the length of the metal and traces his name with the other. "I promise you, we'll take care of him." 

Harry's chest hurts, he instantly grips back on to Liam as the older boy straightens himself. They stay there for a little while, the four of them, soaking in the calmness that surrounds the area. 

When they leave, their steps are a little lighter. As if what they left behind wasn't a distant memory but a boy they each loved, and forever would love. 

Harry whispers a small 'thank you' against the skin of Liam's neck as Niall and Zayn decide where they'd like to go to lunch. In turn Liam's grip only tightens around him. That grip gives him something to hold on to, it's his life jacket keeping him afloat, just as it had the past two years. 

\---

Harry decides to go back to school and get his doctorate in medicine a few months later. It's a lot of work and to many late nights but he thinks it'll be worth it in the end. It keeps him occupied, fills the unavoidable void in his life. 

It's after a long night in the library that he comes to his apartment full of people, three that he knew and one that he didn't. There's a woman taking place on his couch, her body turned away from him and towards Liam. 

"Am I interrupting something?" He asks. 

Liam's head lifts, there's a bright smile written across his face. "Harry." 

The woman's head turns towards the door at the sound of his name, her face is bright and open but there's something lost in her eyes. "You're Harry?" 

"Last time I checked." He nods, placing a polite smile on his face. 

"You're his Harry." She breaths. 

The ache in his chest twists painfully and Harry coughs to get a moment to clear his mind. It had been years, since he'd been anyone's. There hadn't even been guys fluttering in and out. Zayn asked if he had taken a vow of celibacy once and Harry replied, face straight,his hand was doing just fine. 

"I can't believe I found you." 

"You were looking for me?" Harry asks, bringing himself back to reality. 

"Yes." She nods. "I...uh..I have something I want to tell you." 

Harry's eyes meet hers for a moment before the gaze moves over her and to Liam. The older boy nods, moving himself on to the arm of the couch, leaving the space for Harry to sit down. Harry drops his satchel on the floor and takes large strides over to the couch.  
The young woman takes a deep breath in as her eyes seem to take in the fact he's sat in front of her. "I'm sorry, you're just. You're just like he said you'd be." 

Harry's chest aches a little more, then there's the familiarity of fingers bruising his shoulder. "You knew him?" 

"I--I'd never met him before." She admits. "We met on the stairwell." 

Harry's hand comes up to cover Liam's and the fingers dig in harder. "When the---that day?" 

"When the plane crashed." She gulped. "I was on the 87th floor, two floors above where it'd actually hit apparently. Someone rang 911 and the woman was telling us not to move, that the firemen would get to us eventually. But she didn't know what it was like, it got hard to breath, people were practically on top of each other out of the window, just trying to get air." 

By this point her hands are shaking and Harry reaches his free hand forward to grasp them. 

"Two guys decided that they were done staying put and used all their power to get the door to our room open. When they finally did, they tried to convince people that walking down would be the best idea. People still didn't listen, thought staying put would save their lives. Even my friend maggie--" She chokes. "Even my friend Maggie refused to leave. It ended up just being me, the two guys who broke the door and one young intern." 

Harry squeezes her hand as she closes her eyes to redeem herself. 

"The smoke wasn't as thick on the stairs. I wanted to go back and tell Maggie, that it was easier to breath, it seemed safer. The guys stopped me though, pushed me to keep walking." She paused. "We were four flights down, the 83rd floor. When I met him." 

"Louis." Harry breaths. 

"Your Louis." She nods, squeezing his hand. "It was him and two other men, they stopped us on the stairs and asked if there were any survivors on the floors above. We told them what we knew, the amount of people in the room we occupied but didn't know about further up." 

Harry nods to show he's listening, his hands in a vice grip with the two he's holding. 

"One of the other men asked if we could check floors on the way down, make sure the people they had said to leave had done as told. We agreed and told them to be careful before moving on. Only he stopped me--just before I began walking again. It was almost like he knew, like he knew if he continued up those stairs he wouldn't be coming back down." 

Harry chokes on the tears working the way up his throat. "W-what did he tell you?" 

"He asked me, that when I got out if I could find you. If I could tell you how much he loves you, that he wants you to be happy, that it's always and forever no matter what." 

The air is heavy, his lungs are light, the two combined are making it a hard task at breathing. The young girl squeezes his hands, with a question in her eyes. Harry shakes his head, tries to tell her that he's fine. 

"I didn't know his name, didn't know where I would find you." She says. "I'm sorry it took me so long. I tried for years, after I found out his name. I tried to find every Harry there was in new york. Every hospital, there was no one that knew of Louis or you." 

"I-t's okay." He croaks. 

"It's not, you should have known sooner. Should have known how amazing he was, he saved so many people. Two people survived from two floors above me, they found me at the memorial service last year. They told me they owed their lives to boy with a soft smile and eyes too blue." 

Harry leans his weight back in to Liam, closing his eyes for a moment. 

"Each time i've been, each time I've talked to people, each time I've asked for stories from inside. There have been dozens of people that have told me about the three guys, who went from the 60th floor and up, to make sure people were able to get out." 

The sob finally breaks Harry, only this time there's a smile on his lips as Liam's gentle fingers rake through his hair. 

"You should be proud, he was such a brave man. They all were." She says. "Heroes, perfect souls, guardian angels. Your boyfriend and those men, deserve the highest title imaginable." 

"Thank you." Harry chocks, green eyes finally finding her. "Thank you for coming. Thank you for telling me. Thank you for being someone who saw him in his last moments. Just thank you." 

"I don't deserved your thanks." She whispers. "I should be the one thanking you, for loving such a wonderful man." 

Harry tries to hold in another sob as the two hug, holding on to each other like the lifeline that connects them. They hang on to each other until Liam's gentle hand pulls them apart. The young woman wipes her eyes, offers Liam a gentle smile and stands. Harry follows and she offers her hand, only to be pulled in to another hug. 

"He really loved you." She whispers. "I could read it in his eyes, they were so bright in such a sad sitaution. All because he was thinking of you." 

"Thank you." He replies. 

Liam leads the young woman out, they speak quietly at the door and Harry drops himself on the couch once it's finally closed. Liam joins him, dropping a small card on the coffee table. 

"Claire." Liam tells him. "Clarie Breeze." 

"Louis would have liked her." Harry says. 

"Louis liked everyone." Liam laughs, tugging the younger boy in to his side. 

Niall and Zayn soon join them, plates of pasta in their hand. The four settle in the small couch, limbs tangled until they look like one person. They watch films, laugh and enjoy a night like four best friends should. But none of them forget the memory of the boys with eyes too blue and a smile that could brighten every room.

**Author's Note:**

> Wanted to get this posted. Spelling and Grammar will be checked tomorrow. Also, may be writing and alternative ending where Louis doesn't die.


End file.
